the Whys, Whats and Wheres are here!
a lot of parents with toddlers and young kids would know the lil ones will get to a stage where they become extremely inquisitive and we parents and caregivers get inundated with a barrage of questions.
so arshad is at this stage now. he is asking ALOT of questions..some of them are as inconsequantial as;
“what is that man carrying?” (points to a man walking in the distance)
-’he’s carrying a box’
“why is the man carrying box?”
- ‘because he needs to bring something somewhere.’
“what is the man carrying?”
- ’something. i dunno’
“where he bringing something?”
‘i dunno. you can go ask the man..(on better days i’ll answer “somewhere, far FAR away” to his where questions)
it can be cute, it can seem fun..but at times, i think we parents find it can be exasperating coz one answer which we give will lead to more ‘whys?’
and since i have often used the words “dunno” out of MY bad habit and laziness, i realised the boy have started using that word too! not good.
some questioning, not as exasperating or inconsequential, are things i cant easily answer;
“why dark at night?”
-because the sun is not here
“where sun go?”
-hmmmm..sun never go anywhere, errr..sun is on the other side..
“other side? where ?”
-hmmmm..sun not in the sky anymore..
“where sun go?”
-doesnt go anywhere, just that we…err..the planet Earth move so cannot see the sun…like, like…if mak goes outside, arshad cannot see mak.
puzzled look from the boy.
“WHY?” emphasize on the why here..
“WHY mak go outside? Why must go outside?”
it’s not that i dont know the answer, but i realised it was tough to explain it to him at his level. i eventually managed to tell him about the earth turning, but it was difficult to explain it to him without a model..and my analogy, as you can see, failed. the other night he asked me again, probably trying to remember my answer and getting things abit mixed up..asked “why the moon turn?”
i still enjoy our chit chats and the questionings. the only time i demand he keeps quiet is when i am driving with him alone..“because mak is driving.” “because got a lot of cars. keep quiet, if not car langgar” (i know, it is morbid, but i cant drive and multi-task with the boy asking too many questions)
anyway, i found this great link on “Why Toddlers ask Whys?”
“In their well-meaning quest to inform and educate their children, many parents are focused on providing accurate answers to all of these “why” questions. But are accurate answers the most important part of the conversations that parents have with their children? In a word, no.
“Kids are not actually interested in, nor can they comprehend, the scientific explanation as to why the sky is blue,” Dr. Sharif says. “They are simply looking to have a conversation with you, looking for your attention. Children need totalk and be talked to in order to foster their language skills, vocabulary and breadth of knowledge. Listening to what kids are asking you gives you an idea[of] what they are interested in.”
Children are not testing their parents, but since they do not know what questions to ask in order to learn, “why” represents the simplest alternative. Rather than being concerned about getting the answers right, a parent should take advantage of the child’s curiosity and talk with them more about the subject of the question, along with any other interesting information.
“Remember the egocentricity of the age,” Dr. Sharif says. “A child may ask, ‘Why does the moon follow me?’ A parent may respond, ‘Maybe the moon is trying to be your friend! Look, it’s still there, do you see it? It’s smiling!’ This can help to foster emotional development, security and self-esteem. When the moon is gone, a simple explanation [of ] ‘Maybe it went to sleep like you do’ is more comprehensible and satisfying to a 3-year-old than a scientific explanation of the variation of the phases of the moon according to its rotation around the earth.”
by the way, i use this ‘tired, want to go to sleep’ answering method quite often. like today, when i wanted to discourage him from going to McDonalds.
“McDonalds is closed”
“Why McNonald close?”
“because the people are tired. they want to sleep”
but for the record…we did eventually go to ‘McNonald” twice today. first time, my defences broke down when he started whining he was hungry while we were at bugis, and it was packed everywhere else. and then when he went out with the husband, i was aghast to find out the husband brought him there again for tea, mcwings and happy meals. happy meals always win! they control us!
it’s not that we’ve never brought him to McDees…or banning it from him. i realised, he was associating our trips to library and McDonalds happy meals. *yessshh* after we we were done with borrowing books at the National Library, he immediately asked about ‘McNonald’..coz we did go to McDees after the last trip to the library few weeks back.
oh, i did tell him i dont like fries to discourage him ..
“mak doesnt like fries”
“why you dont like?”
“because they are not good for you”
but guess what?
..he didnt ask another ‘why’ after that answer..he simply said “arshad like!” , smiled, and continued eating.
he is so so cute n curious, how fun when they know how to talk…. i likeeeee….
thanks for the link! been meaning to look up as to WHY (oh why) the never ending Qs from our kiddos.
btw last part,lol!
iza,
i think you’ll have double the fun soon in a couple of years time
ira,
it is cute, but the WHYs are neverending also eh..hehe